


He loves me, He loves me (not)

by Anannua



Series: I'm Here To Get Hurt and Chew Gum (and I'm all out of gum) [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Dubious Consent, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Moral Ambiguity, Pining, Rape/Non-con Elements, Tragedy, Underage Sex, Unrequited Love, due to age
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:00:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22186747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anannua/pseuds/Anannua
Summary: “Hanahaki Disease:Someone afflicted with unrequited love starts spitting up flowers. The closer it gets to a fully formed flower, the closer to death. There isno known curefor this disease."Rin looks up from the text."Obito, there's no such thing."The pile of petals he brings her says otherwise.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi & Uchiha Obito, Hatake Kakashi/Namikaze Minato, Namikaze Minato & Team Minato
Series: I'm Here To Get Hurt and Chew Gum (and I'm all out of gum) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1523477
Comments: 25
Kudos: 175





	He loves me, He loves me (not)

**Author's Note:**

> In all my works, something is constant: Minato is lovely, kind and accepting, and generally a good person. I had to ask myself, _what if he wasn’t?_ Combined with a trope I’ve seen a few times.  
>  **  
> This story does not have a happy ending.**
> 
> **This story does not have a happy ending.**
> 
> **This story does not have a happy ending.  
> **  
>  I won’t say enjoy, unless you’re here specifically to suffer, in which case, here we go.

“ **Hanahaki Disease** : Someone afflicted with unrequited love starts spitting up flowers. The closer it gets to a fully formed flower, the closer to death. There is _no known cure_ for this disease.”

Run looks up from the text with raised eyebrows.

Obito just looks at her expectantly.

“It’s wrong,” she says gently, but that’s not what he wants to hear.

“There _has_ to be a cure!”

“No—it’s not that—Obito, there’s actually _no such thing_ ,” Rin corrects herself. “Hanahaki Disease isn’t a _real_ disease. It’s a work of fiction, completely fabricated. It’s a made up disease.”

Obito worries his bottom lip with his teeth.

“….how sure are you?”

“Very,” Rin says comfortingly, reaching out to take Obito’s hand. The other chuunin jumps at the contact.

“I don’t believe you.”

“Why?”

Obito produces a handful of petals.

Rin’s eyebrows shoot up to her hair line.

“Obito, are these….”

“They’re not from me,” Obito says quietly.

+

“Hey!”

“Rin,” the silver-haired jounin says genially.

“Kakashi-san, I was wondering…” How to say this? Rin knows her face is bright pink but she can’t believe Obito’s words alone. “…I was wondering if there was someone…. Someone you like?”

“Shinobi don’t have emotions,” Kakashi monotones.

“You’re human, too,” Rin says, trying not to die of humiliation as Kakashi stares at her like she’s grown a second head.

“Rin. I’m sorry. I don’t like you.”

Ouch?

“I…. I’m not asking, for me,” she says, once her heart stops hurting quite so much.

“Oh.” Then, an annoyed look. “Is this about the petals?”

Rin’s eyes go wide.

“Obito said—“

“Obito has _no idea_ what he’s talking about,” Kakashi spits. There’s so much vitriol that Rin physically reels back. For an instant, the fraction of Kakashi’s face that shows above his mask is filled with irritation, and bitterness so blatant it could flay the skin from a weaker woman. Rin grits her teeth as the look disappears.

“Kakashi, I’m the team medic. If you even suspect that something is wrong…”

His look softens, losing its edge.

“Rin. Of course I’d tell you. But I promise there’s nothing wrong with me. Please believe me.”

She can’t help the worry that fills her heart.

+

The first time she sees it, she can’t really believe it. But it happens right in front of her: Minato-sensei calls Kakashi aside, and they disappear together for an innocuous space of time. When they return, nothing has changed, on the outside. But Kakashi’s eyes give him away.

He looks vacant. Empty. Like he’s lost a part of himself.

Obito isn’t as oblivious as he makes himself out to be. Over the course of the next few weeks Minato-sensei calls Kakashi aside and they leave for a while. And Obito confronts Rin at the end of the month with a pile of petals.

+

“Kakashi, me and Obito wanted to have lunch!”

“Or dinner,” Obito mutters, hands shoved in his pockets. “It’s getting late.”

“That sounds wonderful,” Sensei says, handsome face split with a warm smile.

The silver-haired teen releases Chidori and stands up straight, looking at the ground.

“Why don’t the two of you go on ahead,” Minato-sensei suggests, “Kakashi? I want to talk to you about your technique…”

Obito for once doesn’t run off for food. Rin stands with him, eyes darting over Kakashi, whose body is tense and frozen. But Sensei just offers that smile, kind, charming, and of course it makes sense so they go on ahead.

“There’s gonna be more flowers,” Obito says as they walk away from the training grounds.

“It’s not really…. It isn’t—there’s no such thing,” Rin says, though she’s losing her confidence. “You go on ahead. There’s something I have to see….”

She leaves Obito behind to skirt back toward the training grounds. Sensei and Kakashi are no longer standing out in the open but Rin senses their chakra. She follows it a little deeper into the forest.

She eventually spots the bright blonde shock of Sensei’s hair, and freezes in place.

Kakashi’s pants are down around his ankles, and Sensei is—

Rin puts a hand over her mouth, to cover the scream.

It’s _awful_.

But it’s also over, as Sensei sighs in satisfaction, shuddering as he grips Kakashi’s hips with a bruising grip, before he pulls away with a slick sound. Kakashi grunts as his support goes out from under him and he drops to the forest floor.

“Clean yourself,” Sensei’s voice says, and Rin feels ice grip her heart because he sounds exactly the same as he _always_ does: warm, kind, lovely and fatherly, even if his actions are anything but. “Your teammates are waiting for you.”

The younger jounin says nothing, pulling his clothes back on.

Sensei doesn’t linger after that. Kakashi stands, barely a wobble to his walk, and heads out of the forest.

Rin watches him wipe his mouth and brush away three petals.

+

“Something’s happening.”

Obito looks up from his ramen.

“Tonight?”

“With Kakashi,” Rin says, trying to keep her voice steady.

“Yeah. The flowers,” Obito agrees solemnly. “It’s, like, true love but unreturned or something. It sucks.”

 _It’s worse,_ Rin wants to say around the lump in her throat. _It’s Sensei—he’s—_

“Rin? You look really pale. Are you sick?”

“Sort of.”

+

She starts watching more closely, even more closely than when she had a huge crush on Kakashi. She sees all the signs: his clothing gets longer, even in summer; his responses are limited, clipped, defensive; he spends less and less time with them and when he does it’s always in a wide-open space. He tenses at odd times (when he sits, when he has to stretch). He rises to Obito’s challenges less and less, and all but ignores his so-called eternal rival. He was quiet before but he’s absolutely a rock of reservation, now. Kakashi becomes a shadow of himself, barely there, so strange that even Obito starts to worry about him.

And there’s still Sensei, instructing them with that honey-sweet voice.

(but Rin remembers ‘ _clean yourself_ ’ and Kakashi being _discarded,_ and now that voice makes her _skin_ _crawl_ )

+

“Why do you go to him?”

Kakashi gives her a look that would fool anyone else.

“What do you mean? He wants to talk—“

Rin laughs, and it’s a cold, shrill sound, so strange that Kakashi stops talking.

“He doesn’t talk a lot, when you’re alone.”

Kakashi goes paper-white.

“Rin. You can’t say anything.”

“Kakashi, he’s…. I saw—you have bruises, on your wrists, and your _hips_ —“

There’s a hand that slaps over her mouth, lightning-quick. Kakashi’s eyes are wide, frantic, darting side to side.

“Please,” he whispers, voice shaking. “Please, if you tell, I’ll lose this, with him, and I can’t.”

Confusion sews across Rin’s face.

Then, Kakashi’s grip slips as he coughs, body nearly convulsing with the force of it, and flower petals erupt over the edge of his mask.

Rin looks up in wonder.

“You love him,” she says.

Kakashi shoves the petals from his face and drags the mask back into place.

“How long?”

“Rin.”

“It isn’t right! How long have you been letting him take advantage? Kakashi!”

“We’re adults,” Kakashi argues hotly, “It’s none of your business.”

“It’s my business as the team medic. Kakashi, _please_ tell me?”

“They’re starting to come up in buds,” Kakashi says suddenly, eyes dropping to the petals on the floor. “Soon, they’ll be full flowers.”

 _There’s no such thing_ , Rin remembers telling Obito.

“It’s fatal,” she says aloud.

“Promise you won’t say anything.”

“Kakashi, you’re dying.”

He looks at her, tired, and honest.

“Rin, please. _I want this_. If I can’t have him, then I want to have this, with him, until the end.”

Rin shakes her head, horrified.

“It isn’t love, what he’s doing to you.”

Kakashi glances down at the petals.

“I know. Please, promise me?”

+

They get a mission, to go to some bridge. The war drags on and everyone is stressed. Obito keeps bringing Rin bigger and bigger collections of petals. Kakashi becomes more and more withdrawn. And Sensei abandons subtly, disappearing with his silver-haired student very often.

+

“You’re so tight,” Sensei’s voice says roughly over his shoulder. Kakashi says nothing and clings to the trunk of a tree, grunting when the force of Sensei’s thrusts shove him into the bark. It’s summer, so it isn’t chilly when his pants are shoved off, but nothing helps the cold he feels inside.

There’s an instant, when Sensei comes inside of him, that Kakashi feels that moment of hope, when Minato murmurs his name quietly, sweetly against the flat of his back, lips pressed into his skin, that _maybe Minato will want him back_.

Then he feels it, in his chest, coming up in his throat, and for once he can’t stop it—

Sensei stares as Kakashi doubles over, producing an entire blossom from his mouth.

“What’s this?”

“N-nothing,” Kakashi coughs, scrambling for it, smashing it beneath his hand.

“It looked like….”

Sensei’s voice is colored with suspicion, and Kakashi twists off him, turns around and drops to his knees, the way he knows Minato likes best. The look on the older man’s face becomes charmed as Kakashi takes him in, mouth stretching around his erection, still hard even after coming, and he does all the things Sensei likes best, to encourage him to forget the sight of the flower.

+

It’s awful. It’s awful, terrible, dishonest, and it’s happening right there, right in front of her. Rin is powerless to stop it.

+

They split up, Sensei going one way, the three of them following a lead on some Iwa ninja. They travel in silence. But it’s not in Obito’s nature to be docile, and before they reach the check point, he confronts Kakashi.

“Something’s wrong with you.”

Rin has to give Kakashi points for acting. He looks taken off-guard, like he has no clue what Obito’s on about.

“Personal issues have to wait until after the mission,” he says cautiously, like he’s afraid of upsetting the other boy.

Obito snarls.

“You don’t have until after the mission, asshole! You’re… it’s… they’re not just petals, anymore!”

Kakashi goes stiff.

“Kakashi, I think talking about it will help,” Rin says, cautious of the tension in the air, of Obito’s indignation, of Kakashi’s look of shock, like he honestly hadn’t expected the confrontation. “You have to know we’ll support you. What Sensei’s doing isn’t _right_.”

“You have to say something,” Obito challenges, eyes hard. “We’ve got your back, y’know?”

Kakashi’s face shifts from frozen to vacant.

“It’s none of your concern.”

Rin feels her lip tremble.

“Kakashi—“

“The mission has to come first,” Kakashi says harshly, emotion coloring his voice for the first time in weeks. “We’re in enemy territory and what you’re concerned about has no bearing on the mission. We have to focus.”

He turns on heel, ignoring Obito’s shout, and vaults off toward their objective.

+

There’s a cave, and a stray ninja that strikes out with a sword. Kakashi winces as his world goes half-dark. He shudders as something tightens in his chest, and he curses his luck as the feeling erupts inside of him, growing, filling his lungs and stealing his breath and he can’t breathe, choked, half-blind, and wounded, and Kakashi realizes that this is how he dies, with flowers filling up his lungs and his teammates thinking the worst of him and Minato _not caring_ —

“Fuck—that’s the Sharingan!”

Over the sounds of combat, Kakashi hears it, and is glad. At least something is going well.

Rin and Obito come to his aide. Rin has recovered from being captured and drugged, while Obito stands beside her, his new eyes spinning rapidly, kunai knife in hand though the enemy ninja are retreating, fleeing at the sight of one of Konoha’s most dangerous dojutsus. Then the shooting pain in his chest steals all his concentration, and he topples over.

“Kakashi!”

“Fuck, you bastard! Don’t you dare—Kakashi, hang on!”

An entire flower comes up instead of an apology. Kakashi spits it out with a grimace. His lips are flecked with blood.

“It’s kind of nice,” he says tiredly.

“Kakashi—your side,” Rin says, dropping to his side, palms glowing green with healing chakra.

“It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Don’t give up,” Obito says roughly, “Don’t you fucking _dare_ just give up!”

“It’s pointless,” Kakashi tells Rin, pushing her hands aside.

“You don’t _know_ that.”

“There’s no cure. And the flowers have opened up. My chest really fucking hurts.”

Rin can count on one hand the number of times Kakashi has been so badly wounded that he curses about it.

“We can’t just do nothing,” Obito hisses, and Rin’s startled to see tears in his eyes.

Kakashi glances up at him but his eyes are so tired.

“It’s really nice of you to care, Obito. I wish he would.”

They’re deep in enemy territory, surrounded. They can’t afford to be caught off-guard. It’ll mean their lives.

But Obito lurches forward and grabs Kakashi by the front of his shirt and kisses him.

Rin can only stare.

“Please,” Obito whispers, and it strikes her that it’s so shaky, like Obito is about to come apart at the seams, “ _Please_ , don’t give up. There has to be some way—“

“Obito,” Kakashi chokes, alarmed. “Obito, what are you doing?”

“The petals,” Rin says suddenly, “There were so many. They weren’t just from Kakashi. Were they?”

Obito doesn’t answer, too busy looking at their other teammate, who is shaking this head slowly.

“I… Obito, I’m sorry…”

“ _Don’t give up_ ,” he begs. “There’s go to be _something_.”

“I’m in love with Sensei,” Kakashi says, and Rin guesses it’s the first time he’s admitted it to anyone out loud. “Why? I’ve never been kind to you.”

Obito laughs, and it’s a terrible sound.

“I didn’t pick you, asshole. It just happened, over time, I guess.”

“Why,” Kakashi asks. Demands, like a child, angry and confused and terrified that Obito could share his fate. “Why me?”

There’s something warm and lovely in Obito’s smile, even as his Sharingan-red eyes start to spill over with tears.

“Couldn’t say,” he says with a shrug, reaching up to cup Kakashi’s cheek, thumbing over the line that would probably have left an awesome scar, if it weren’t for the flowers. “You’re _you_. That’s enough, for me.”

“Obito, I don’t…”

“I know.”

Kakashi’s face goes grim and coughs violently. Three fully-formed flowers come up.

“It’s…. It looks really painful,” Obito says, reaching up to brush bloody petals away.

“It sucks,” Kakashi confirms. Then, with a side-long glance at Rin, he reaches up and pulls Obito down by the back of his neck.

Rin watches as they kiss, Obito with desperate hope, Kakashi with tired resignation.

“Why,” Obito asks after, lips red with Kakashi’s blood, “Why? If you don’t love me….”

Kakashi laughs, for the last time.

“I hoped…. I thought, maybe, if not me… maybe we could still fix _you_. I guess not.”

He stares up, past Obito, past the ceiling, probably at the sky they can’t see in the dark of the cave.

“I confessed, a long time ago. Sensei said I was too young. That it couldn’t be love. Then, later, when I was older, I figured if I couldn’t have his heart, I would at least have as much of him as he’d give to me.”

He turns to stare at Rin, whose face is a rictus of horror at the idea of Kakashi requesting—

“Please. Rin, you promised.”

It feels wrong. But she promised, and Rin is honorable (more honorable than Sensei, apparently) and she nods once. She won't tell.

“Thank you.”

Then he shuts his eyes and goes very still.

Obito shakes his head, a hand going to his own chest, and Rin watches helplessly as Obito coughs up a flower bud over Kakashi’s unmoving form.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Choice and Consequence](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22207831) by [CreativeSweets](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreativeSweets/pseuds/CreativeSweets)
  * [Suffocated](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24911548) by [Voglioungufo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Voglioungufo/pseuds/Voglioungufo)




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